One morning, I sat down to write feeling crazy and desperate.

I was deep in the midst of a waiting season, and — much as I’d like to think otherwise — I’m not the most patient person. (Maybe you can relate?)

I wrote: “It’s all hopeless. So many times I’ve put my heart out on the line – in a post, a proposal – and received no response. Hearing nothing is worse than hearing no. Ask any writer, any artist. You can move on from a ‘no.’ But a ‘nothing’ can eat you alive.

I hate the uncertainty of it all. If uncertainty were an object, I would kick against it until it BROKE. How can one carry on in the face of it? How can one create something meaningful when other meaningful work has been buried? How can one take these terrible risks?”

Here’s what I heard in response:

“Honey, you’ve been looking to others for approval, but – surprise! – you need to look elsewhere. You need simpler measures for success: Did I write today? Did I publish that post? Did I do the work?

And if you can answer yes, let that be enough. Let that be your good news. Release the need for ‘big’ things to happen, and be faithful in the small things. When you need a lifeline, send one out for someone else. And most of all, practice looking around and seeing what NOW actually is.”


Now is a woman with a tear-stained face, sitting in a chair. The chair was given to her as a gift by her true friend. “To support you in your writing,” she said.

Now is the sound of the woman’s hands typing on the keyboard. The laptop was given to her as a gift by her wonderful family. “To support you in your writing,” they said.

Now is looking around her writing room. This room was given to her as a gift, renovated by her loving husband. “To support you in your writing,” he said.

Now, as it turns out, has nothing whatsoever to do with lack or uncertainty. Now is being surrounded by gifts, by certain grace.


If you’re anything like me, you’ve been waiting for a passport to a foreign country called Contentment. You’ve been standing in line and filling out forms and getting frustrated with everything around you. You do this even though this strategy has never worked before and isn’t likely to start working now.

But every once in a while, you catch a glimpse of reality. You see, however fleetingly, that there’s another way to go about your days. And that way opens up before you when you realize that all the time – all the time! – you were always and already a citizen.

You never needed a passport to get to Contentment. You didn’t need to waste time waiting in line. You just did that because you wanted those stamps. You wanted your passport covered in permission, decked out in approval. You wanted proof: Yes, you’re good enough. Yes, you’re welcome here.

But you don’t need stamps or a passport if you’re already home.


That’s what A Wish Come Clear’s new video trailer is all about: choosing love, losing fear, and finding home. (If you missed the story of how this trailer came to be, you can read it here.)

Thanks to Wes Wages and the talented people at Armosa Studios for their wonderful work, singer/songwriter Tiffany Thompson for providing the lovely music, and dear friends Camille Goldston Bennett and Kristy McKinney for donating their time, support, and hugs.


What do you think of the video? Join the conversation in the comments!

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  1. Brooke November 12, 2013 at 2:20 PM - Reply

    Wow! What a beautiful post and amazing video!! I’m so proud of you!

    • Caroline McGraw November 12, 2013 at 4:15 PM - Reply

      🙂 Thank you so much, my friend! That warms my heart, especially since your journey over the last few months has been such an inspiration to me. It’s been hard, it’s been rough, and yet you have shown so much grace. I’m proud of you too. <3

  2. Marion November 12, 2013 at 7:54 PM - Reply

    Carolyn, I love your blog and have frequently found it inspiring and helpful. Am guilty of not providing feedback! I especially loved the last two posts, “We don’t have to waste away” and “Please don’t crazy if I tell you the truth.” I’m sure there are many like me silently inspired by what you share. It’s easy in the days of social media to think it doesn’t matter if you respond–and to assume that myriad others are carrying on the conversation. But I hope you’ll keep writing and posting your courageous, truthful work.

    • Caroline McGraw November 12, 2013 at 8:50 PM - Reply

      Marion, that’s wonderful to hear — thank you so much for reading, introducing yourself, and sharing too! That reassurance is invaluable. And I know just what you mean — sometimes I, too, won’t comment on a post, thinking that the writer must already know how helpful and good it is! Inevitably, I later learn that they need feedback just as much as I do, that they doubt themselves and wonder if their work and words make a difference to anyone. Thank you.

  3. Gregory Lease November 13, 2013 at 10:15 PM - Reply

    Carolyn, you’ve hit another one out of the park! Keep writing, girl, the world needs to hear what you have to say! And I am always grateful for the way that you speak to my heart.

    • Caroline McGraw November 13, 2013 at 11:47 PM - Reply

      Greg, I’m so grateful! Thank you for that kind affirmation.

  4. Jeanne November 20, 2013 at 1:36 AM - Reply

    I can echo Marion’s comments. I have not been reading long, and I figure I need to read longer to get to know you to even “earn the right” to respond.

    • Caroline McGraw November 20, 2013 at 10:03 PM - Reply

      Jeanne, welcome! Thank you for reaching out, and do feel free to share your thoughts. (But I know what you mean — I like to spend some time reading and making that connection with another’s work before I comment.) 😉

  5. Olga Jendrek November 20, 2013 at 11:32 PM - Reply

    Love the video. Beautiful job.

    • Caroline McGraw November 20, 2013 at 11:36 PM - Reply

      Thank you so much, Olga! And I agree — the filmmakers did a gorgeous job!

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