How to Start Decluttering When Overwhelmed
Before I had kids, I read about a mom who "organized her time so ruthlessly that she always keyed in 1:11 or 2:22 or 3:33 on the microwave ... because hitting the same number 3...
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Human Giver Syndrome Drains Your Life Away
Once upon a time there was a woman I'll call Julia, who did something brave. Julia was a loving mom of two, and she went to see one of her children perform at a holiday...
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Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should
Recently a dear friend sent me a sticker with a picture of a pelican on it, surrounded by these words: "Just because you PELiCAN, doesn't mean you PELiSHOULD." It made me laugh and it hit...
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Self-Abandonment Stops Now; Here’s How to Feel Secure
More than a decade ago, I flew cross-country for my cousin's wedding. I traveled all day, slept at my parents' house, then left early the next morning to drive another couple of hours to the...
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Parentified Daughter? Let’s Get the Albatross Off Your Back.
I got my kids into their car seats, locked the car doors, and took a deep breath. From inside the rental house, I could hear my younger brother Willie shouting. He'd just begun melting down,...
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Overextending Yourself Yet Again? Let’s Resolve It.
Did you know that happiness research indicates that removing something negative in our lives has a greater overall impact on our well-being than including something positive? In other words: If you can figure out how...
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Self-Sacrifice Is a Trap, Don’t Fall for It!
One weekend at the local splash pad, I had a conversation with a friend and fellow mom while our kids played. When I asked about her job as an administrator at a private school, she...
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Euphoric Recall: The Real Reason You Haven’t Moved On
About 20 years ago this Christmas, I pretended I was fine when really I was furious. The guy I call Harley in my first book, You Don't Owe Anyone - the co-worker who begged me...
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What Should I Do With My Life?
Whenever readers or coaching clients ask me about how they ought to live, I recall these lines from David Seabury's The Art of Selfishness: "No one but yourself knows what you ought to do. You...
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Emotional Abuse Test: When You Know Something Isn’t Right
After years of verbal and emotional abuse - after years of constant criticism and control - this was her secret truth: "I'm waiting for my husband to die so I can begin to live." That's...
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Arrival Fallacy: Once I get through this, THEN I’ll be happy?
Once upon a time, a beloved friend had a pattern that drove me crazy. She'd enter into high-stress situations: working a demanding job while planning a wedding, coordinating a cross-country move with small children, or...
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Insecure Overachiever? Set that Crushing Burden Down.
I spent my first couple of decades trying to be the best person I could possibly be. She was always someone who wasn’t me. This was the cause of 90% of my stress, suffering, and...
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